“So, what did you do with it then?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing, I swear.”

“Then why the hell does it have cheese on it?”

“No. it doesn’t have cheese on it…er, no it doesn’t..that’s just, dust….yes…dust…”

“My mother-in-laws foot it’s dust, is cheese, you bloody moron”

“But it’s not cheese,my friend…it’s dust”

“Forget your warranty card, throw it away….you’ve messed up the motherboard on purpose or something, you’re mad maybe.”

The above, ladies and gentlemen, is a conversation that went on like so for nearly five minutes before my friend finally gave up and paid for the new motherboard. The problem arose when my friend (for the sake of anonymity let us call him a more exciting letter than X,Y,Z,A,B,C or D – let’s say, Q) happened to have discovered, rather to his great annoyance, that a cheese pizza, when accidently (or so he says) dripped over a motherboard, automatically. Now, I am the neutral (read clueless) sort in such matters of litigation, so I just accompanied my friend with his box to Secunderabad to his computer retailer to fix it, after spending an hour scrubbing the insides of the casing to make it completely cheddar-free. And after having to sit and listen to my friend uttering the choicest abuses in Telugu, a convoluted form of Hindi they called “Hyderabadi ishtyle” and of course the usual Shit, damn, stupid, idiot, moron (and often several words of this sort combined together, making my friend sound rather like a cross between Eric Cartman and Captain Haddock) he finally had to pay up for his motherboard. Mind you it was a pity, because the motherboard was one of those new fangled Dual core ones. That having being said, I then had to endure several dark thoughts of his while we rode back to the hostel, mainly outlining what he would like to do with a couple of pounds of RDX and a license to kill.
In other news, I recently had the agony of watching Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End – what a god-awful movie that was….except for that amazing maelstrom scene at the end, the movie was nothing but a pure waste of time and for me about a hundred bucks in transportation and ticket prices) – I still say that so far the only hit this year has been the movie 300. Of course, I still have to see Oceans Thirteen, but I intend to only to go and watch it for how bad it could go – that’s another movie that should’ve died after Eleven (okay, maybe I’m not being honest enough, Twelve). I also managed to get my hands on a very rare copy of the First two seasons of Jeeves and Wooster, based on the novels of P.G. Wodehouse…it made me realize how humor has evolved into the crass form we see it now. No words and an intelligent plot nowadays, just a silly situation and a low IQ can tickle us these days. Sad,really.